So, yesterday I had a session with Pat, and we did EMDR. It lead me to the seps 1-3 gate (two columns and the arch) that I had to walk through, in the session, but I never walked through it. All I heard was a soothing, familiar voice say "Patience, guidance, no fear." I had no idea who said it or where it came from. All the sudden, the lights in Pat's office cut off, and we sat there in total silence for about 30 seconds before the lights cut back on. The building's lights didn't go out anywhere else. It was so mystical and wonderful. It was awesome. Then today, I get a returned envelope that I forgot to put Antwain's apartment number on, enclosed with the sweet letters I wrote before I decided to fully cut him from my life. I'm so glad, because I don't want him to get the idea that I want anything to do with him anymore. I don't, because he was nothing more to me than a mere fix, like crack cocaine. I wrote him a letter, replacing those that were sent back to me. I'm not going to burn or send the new letter. Instead, whenever I think about Antwain, I will keep writing letters like that. So, God showed me a new coping skill. Thank you! Oh, last night the fire drill went off at 3:00am, and kept me tossing and turning all night. I worry and pray for Melody (a woman here). She's not in her right mind yet. God, I want you to help guide her. Also, been really irritable lately. I get to go to WalMart tomorrow! Yay! Audrey, the biggest skank-ho bitch keeps invading my vibes, throwing me off completely, which irritates me. Going home next Thursday, and OH-SO ready. :( But I'll miss folks.


  1. Hey Ive been doing some reading of your blogs and I think you should keep it up. I hope you are keeping a private journal too. But this one helps me see how you are doing inside. I sometimes feel like i dont understand your moods, and this helps me see how you are feeling inside, helping me know how to react. We are a bit like act and react, don't you think? Like a comedy team...lol

  2. ps...also, I promise to start my blog up again. I have discarded it because It felt stupid and useless to explore all of my feelings and of disappointment and sadness, then construct a story or poem and feel good about that. But i think i can change gears, i want to write some different things. There are lots of good and not negative things hat have happened to me.
    So you give me some inspiration...and with you being away, it will help wiht that too. I plan to join you soon....